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Denver's Best 1-Star Reviews

Posted on September 18, 2023   |   Updated on September 30, 2025
Peyton Garcia

Peyton Garcia

Denver’s Yelp rating. (City Cast Denver)

Denver’s Yelp rating. (City Cast Denver)

In today’s age, online reviews can be a godsend. How’s the food at that new restaurant you want to check out? Is that latest museum exhibit worth the hype? What are people saying about that buzzy new music venue? And while online reviews are not always helpful, sometimes they’re downright entertaining 😂

We recently scoured the internet for the best 1-star reviews of Denver landmarks and had some fun with them on the City Cast Denver podcast. Can you guess which institutions these reviewers are complaining about just using context clues from their 1-star reviews? Scroll to the bottom of the newsletter for the answers.

1) Restaurant or Museum?

“If [this restaurant] is a museum, close the kitchen, and charge admission, so the taxidermy collection doesn't have to look over the flesh of their descendents that have died in vain. If it's a steakhouse, hire a chef.”

2) Dino-phant-onkey

“Pros: it's blue; it's fun to make fun of; allows me to better my Photoshop skills

Cons: completely hideous; $650,000 to build; have you seen the genitals on this sucker?; horrible pose with ridiculous proportions (it's like a T-rex mixed with an elephant, mixed with a donkey).”

3) Touch Nothing

“Don't even think about standing in one spot for too long, trying to use the bathroom, using an electrical outlet or sitting on any furniture. Unless of course you're dropping like $500 a night for the hotel that was gifted the beautiful space of a historic old train station.”

🎧 Want more? Listen to the full podcast episode to keep the game going.

see more:entertainment

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